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Confessions of a Pastor-Part 3

February 16, 2010 in Personal, Random Thoughts, Uncategorized with 1 Comment

I struggle with this whole idea that if people really knew me, they would not like me.  I think that if I allow people to see the real me, the one that has flaws, that doesn’t always know what he is suppose to do, the one who is living completely by faith because he doesn’t know what to do, that no one would want to follow.  I struggle with this a lot.  I am in completely unfamiliar territory being a lead pastor of a church.  I have been on staff at large churches, taught thousands of people but there has always been someone else who at the end of the day, the buck stopped with him.  Now the buck stops with me.  I want to be the best pastor, leader, friend, husband that I can be, but let me just confess, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.  I am walking more by faith now than I have at any other time in my life.  I am trusting God for direction, answers, provision, and help.  I try to walk around like I got it all together but the reality is that I don’t, I am just walking the faith walk, trusting that what I heard from God is God.  I wish that I could tell you I know all the answers and have it all figured out but unfortunately I am learning along the way as well.

Right now at Coastal Community Church we are in a series called UNWRITTEN, and in this series we are discovering the vision that God has for the different areas of our life.  I believe that it is going to be an incredible series of vision and revelation for people to discover what God still wants to do in their life.  One of the things that I have discovered in life is that God has a purpose for us, but there is a process to get to the purpose and the process is the point.

I am really enjoying the freedom that is coming from this confessions of a pastor series of blogs.  This is the process that God has me in to experience His freedom and presence.  I am falling in love with this verse in James 5:16

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

It seems like the more that I get things off my chest the easier it has been to communicate with God.  I can finally see why the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  That person is not trying to hide anything from God, isn’t dealing with the guilt of concealment, and does not feel the burden of their mistakes.  There is so much freedom in confession but yet we stray away from it, why?  Why would we want to live outside of God’s presence when we can live in it.


Confessions of a Pastor-Part 2

February 13, 2010 in Personal, Random Thoughts with 1 Comment

I grew up in a household of professional Multi-level Marketers.  My mom and step-dad were big wigs in networking and had a statement they would tell new people all the time, fake it till you make it.  They would encourage people to start acting like they were living out the dreams of there life even though they had yet to accomplish them.  Act like you have got everything all together and that everything is perfect and people will want what you have.

Personally I am tired of putting on this fake act that I have got it all together, because I don’t and probably never real.  It is more tiring faking it than it is making it because you are always trying to be someone you are not.  This whole idea that the pastor is or has to be perfect is ridiculous and I am definitely not perfect.  I don’t have it all together, probably never will but I am trying to become better everyday.

The reality is that when I get focused on trying to be this perfect person I am trying to please people instead of trying to please the one who matters most, GOD.  I am making this year the year that I stop living for an audience of many and start living for an audience of ONE.

Are you tired of the act?

Confessions of a Pastor

February 12, 2010 in Personal, Random Thoughts with 0 Comments

I have really been studying a scripture in James 5:16 a lot lately.  A lot of pastors use the last half of the scripture for having an effective prayer life, but God has really been talking to me about the 1st half.

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

We all want a powerful and effective prayer life, don’t we?  I know that I do, but the way to get to that point is to have a pure heart.  God is talking to us about confession, and confession of what we are doing wrong.  I don’t know about you, but I am not big on letting others know where I struggle but at the same point I want to have a pure heart before God.

I really struggle with pride in my life.  I want to be up front, I want people to recognize me, I want to be a part of those special moments with people, I want the accolades and I want, and I want and I want.  If you haven’t noticed, it is a lot about me.  I am tired of it being about me and not more about God.  I want it to be Thy kingdom come, rather than My kingdom come.  God is doing somethings in me over the past 6 months and I am ready to live out a life of confession cause I am sick of living a life of concealment.  Andy Stanley said this…

“The reason you fear the consequences of confession is because you’ve yet to realize the consequences of concealment.”

I am tired of living with the consequences of concealment.  I want to live in the freedom that comes with confession.  I don’t want to be prideful and jealous when I don’t get the attention, in fact I don’t want the attention, I want it to go to the one who is deserving of it all, Jesus Christ.

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