I struggle with this whole idea that if people really knew me, they would not like me. I think that if I allow people to see the real me, the one that has flaws, that doesn’t always know what he is suppose to do, the one who is living completely by faith because he doesn’t know what to do, that no one would want to follow. I struggle with this a lot. I am in completely unfamiliar territory being a lead pastor of a church. I have been on staff at large churches, taught thousands of people but there has always been someone else who at the end of the day, the buck stopped with him. Now the buck stops with me. I want to be the best pastor, leader, friend, husband that I can be, but let me just confess, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. I am walking more by faith now than I have at any other time in my life. I am trusting God for direction, answers, provision, and help. I try to walk around like I got it all together but the reality is that I don’t, I am just walking the faith walk, trusting that what I heard from God is God. I wish that I could tell you I know all the answers and have it all figured out but unfortunately I am learning along the way as well.
Right now at Coastal Community Church we are in a series called UNWRITTEN, and in this series we are discovering the vision that God has for the different areas of our life. I believe that it is going to be an incredible series of vision and revelation for people to discover what God still wants to do in their life. One of the things that I have discovered in life is that God has a purpose for us, but there is a process to get to the purpose and the process is the point.
I am really enjoying the freedom that is coming from this confessions of a pastor series of blogs. This is the process that God has me in to experience His freedom and presence. I am falling in love with this verse in James 5:16
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
It seems like the more that I get things off my chest the easier it has been to communicate with God. I can finally see why the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. That person is not trying to hide anything from God, isn’t dealing with the guilt of concealment, and does not feel the burden of their mistakes. There is so much freedom in confession but yet we stray away from it, why? Why would we want to live outside of God’s presence when we can live in it.